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Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (A PopEntertainment.com Movie Review)

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

BALLISTIC: ECKS vs. SEVER (2002)

Starring Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, Gregg Henry and Ray Park.

Screenplay by Alan B. McElroy.

Directed by Kaos.

Distributed by Warner Brothers.  91 minutes.   Rated R.

Ten reasons I hated Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever:

  1. It has replaced Tori Spelling’s Mother May I Sleep With Danger? as the worst movie title ever.
  2. No matter what anyone says, Antonio Banderas just can’t act!  He overacts and mugs more than any respected actor this side of Gary Oldman.
  3. Nobody has ever claimed Lucy Liu can act, and they are right.   Great hair though…
  4. Director Wych “Kaos” Kaosayananda explains the deep significant artistic meaning of the film by telling Entertainment Weekly, “You come in, a lot of stuff blows up, and you have a good time watching it.”  And he considers this a selling point.
  5. Just the fact that the director goes only by the name Kaos.  It’s doubly annoying that I bet he won’t even get all the Get Smart references.
  6. The ads are trying to kiss up to the kids by referring to the main characters as two “extreme” agents.  What the hell are extreme agents?
  7. It’s based on a video game, for goodness sake.  That allows it to join a treasured movie tradition that also brought us such classics as Resident Evil, Wing Commander, Tomb Raider and Super Mario Brothers.
  8. It has no story, just one explosion, crash, fight or action scene after another.  It is the type of movie that wants to be referred to as a thrill ride.  That is the biggest cliché in the world, trying to forgive films for not having any values other than stunts.   Well, movies have to at least pretend to have stories and characters.  Unlike thrill rides.
  9. Come on, who has ever really met anyone named Ecks or Sever?
  10. It wasted an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back again.  (9/02)

Dave Strohler

Copyright © 2002 PopEntertainment.com.  All rights reserved.  Posted: November 6, 2002.

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